Progress is progress

So it's been a weekish since our first ultrasound. While we are becoming more excited we are still scared shitless. I think back to the pure joy of my 1st pregnancy, the absolute naivete that came along with it. Oh how I wish that I could have that back. But the fear is part of the package and I'm guessing it won't end any time soon. I still over analyze every tiny little thing and pray that the tiny little heart is still beating inside me. Most loss happens between 6-8 weeks which is why the RE does an ultrasound at 7 & 9 weeks. After 9 weeks you have a much better idea of viability (and they told us this several times at our visit, which I am sure accounts for a fair bit of the anxiety). My nausea has lessened a bit which I feel very conflicted about, knowing how normal it is for symptoms to fluctuate it still makes me uncomfortable. I seem to also be having some wonderful hormone induced anxiety attacks (which I am prone to anyway) and have been trying very hard to relax and keep these in check. While the reality that we just might be having a baby in 7 months is starting to sink in we are just really anxious for 1st tri to be over. I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy as much as possible and would never want to rush it along, however, the "safety" of 2nd tri holds so much allure it is impossible not to long for it. The time that I can actually say "pregnant" without feeling my stomach lurch, and "baby" without feeling like it's something sour I have to spit out. We have announced to family and they are all very excited. They of course want to know when we are planning on starting to shop, plan, etc. We don't really have that answer but hopefully after week 12 we can really feel like we're "safe".

1 comment:

  1. :) I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping everything goes smooth!! Although I am not pregnant right now, after having a loss I can understand this post so much. Don't let your thoughts get the best of you ♥ (I know that is way easier said than done)