Uterly Shocked

Yesterday someone very dear to my heart gave birth to her beautiful miracle baby. Today I saw such a perfect picture that touched my heart on such a deep level. In that instant all of my doubts about whether I can keep at this were gone. In that moment I knew that no matter what it takes or how long it takes I will have that pure love that you have for your child, the absolute awe at the perfection of such a tiny (and yet HUGE) miracle. As I send love to this new little family, I felt in my heart a re-birth of the strength I once had for this journey. Infertility is not for the faint of heart, it is the longest hardest journey I have ever been on. A journey when you can't see where the end is, when you never know if there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I wait for my prayers to be answered and, yet I don't know if the answers will be the ones that I hope for.

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After writing the above this afternoon, I came home...caved and POAS. Amazingly my prayers have been answered and now I move on to praying that the 3rd time is the charm and that this little bug sticks with us. I have never been more in shock. While I may be new to blogland, I am not new to ttc or IF. This is an amazing blessing because without BFP I can never even have a shot at a rainbow baby. If you are the praying kind please send prayers my way and if not, positive energy.